Go sit in the corner!

I feel like a naughty child... I was sent home from work today... had my self a nice little hissy fit!

Michelle sent me a message informing me that she told her work about whats going on. As I knew this was going to happen it was not such a big problem, it was just the way it was done!

If you tell your employer such a huge thing and you know that the result might end in you being forced to leave (by law they cant fire her, but they can make life damn uncomfortable), if this was the case, would you not wait till you had a backup plan... especially if you know that you have financial responsibilities, and I'm not just talking about our son or our debt, but he co-rents a place with his mom, and she will NOT be able to handle the rent and cost of life without his help?!? Has the whole world turned selfish!

I wish Michelle all the happiness life can give her. But I get so angry... I ask and ask to be told when she makes life changing decisions like this! I have to make provision for our son and our debt, if she cant bring her side I'm stuck! I don't want to go down this road, but if I have to and I'm forced to I'll do what needs to be done... as of the 20Th I have a legally binding contract sating that she is responsible for half our dept as well as maintenance for Triston... I cant allow her to be selfish in this way!?! But it feels so wrong, I want her to have the life she dreamed of. But can I truly allow it to be at Triston's cost?

When all this started we sat down and looked at all the debt together and my mom and I had worked out a plan to have it paid off in one year. Michelle agreed that waiting one year will be OK and that she will put off the whole transition till the debt was paid off... and now all these things are taking place that should not be happening now!

So I think I have a right to be angry... it feels like every word out of Michelle's mouth in the last 3 months have been a lie! I loved and respected Etienne, but I'm really finding it hard to just like Michelle. I don't know if that makes sense... and don't give me the crap of she is still the same person, its just not true. Etienne would rather have gone hungry than let Triston go without anything (in fact we have done that) family always came first... but Michelle just cares about getting the body she wants, at any cost!

So Michelle, is the cost to high... I will never keep Triston from you, and Triston will learn to love Michelle, as its not in my personality to poison his mind against you... but think about it? Think about all the empty promises over the last 3 months...

I will see Triston every night... didn't last long. (and I'm not talking about now, I know you don't have a car at the moment)
I will wait one year before starting... till you got your first doctors appointment.
I will let you know when I make decisions that effect you and Triston... hasn't happened yet - other than that you want to be a woman.

...and here is where I will stop...

So here I sit, angry yet again... do you think I like feeling like this towards you?? Do you think it pleases me to be used like a yo-yo that just has to fall in with your plans??

Please just think about it, I now know you read this... and maybe its for the best. Because here I can say what I cant say to your face...

I want to be your friend, but you make it damn hard... is it really to much to ask that you wait till the debt is paid... is it really to much to ask that you consult me about things that effect me??

Guess it is...