Tomorrow...

Tomorrow is the last day of my fake marriage... it ends.

So now the feelings start... well just as soon as I can figure out how I want to feel about it?!?

Tomorrow marks the end of seven years with some one I had loved and who I thought loved me in return (as a man should love a woman) - yet I cant feel regret in the years spent with him... they gave me my son!

Tomorrow I lower my husband into his grave. Its the final nail in the coffin of the man I married, now Michelle can live, and hopefully be happy in the life she chose!

Tomorrow, tomorrow i'llllll love ye tomorrow its onlllly a dayyyyy awaaayyyy!

LOL just felt like it!

Back to the topic at hand.

I feel a great loss, not only is my husband dead (or as good as) but I have lost a friend... my best friend.

Even though we both had the best intentions to stay friends, I don't think it will work. The reason being that I can't agree with the way this transition is handled, not that it should be my problem - it would be great to say "go ahead do your thing, we'll be OK"... but alas I can't do that! It is my problem, as it touches me directly... so I think we might be able to remain friendly, but not friends (unless there is a sudden change of hart and Michelle decides to do things the way she promised)

So I bid a sad and fond farewell to my husband... it was great while the blinds over my eyes where still intact...
To seven years of my life... but not lost years, I have my child.
To my friend... this loss might be the one I feel the most!

And when tomorrow finally comes, I will stand up and do what has to be done... not with a glad hart... but with memories intact and dreams shattered.

And then I will walk away from it just as you did... and start dreaming new dreams!